The NITK Numbskulls Page

May 28, 2008

Armchair Detective

Filed under: Controversies, analysis — wanderlust @ 11:37 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Now, as a diligent citizen and Netizen, I’ve been looking at the Orkut profile of Aarushi Talwar. Scraps every minute! And a half a dozen fake profiles to go with that. For those who don’t have orkut profiles, or those reading this behind firewalls similar to Ironport, here’s what her ‘about me’ says:

m a g a totally chilled out person i love hanging arnd wid mah frndz !!ok……. wtelse … i lo lookin 8 da mirror all da tyme!! \ ok wteva… wel… i lov da person hu did da gr8 job of inventing da comp<<<>>>>> i love listenin to musik ….. i simply lorv goin to scool n loadz of oder things………..da list iz too large to mention

Bad grammar etc, but hell, she sounds like one of those countless kewl teens with a cool gang to hang out with and swank places to have birthday parties at. And you don’t get any feel of any insecurity… her class community rates her as one of the hottest chicks of her class.

Now why the hell would someone like that be in objectionable positions with a manservant? That too someone who’s so old he has a married daughter? Wouldn’t she much rather paint the town red with someone closer to her age, someone cooler, someone who can dance (Seems like the ‘in’ thing in her circle is Ashley Lobo’s dance classes)… ?

And… an overdose of Feluda, Agatha Christie and Perry Mason over the past few weeks has me thinking on this line – Everyone thinks Aarushi is the intended victim, and Hemraj the manservant was slaughtered to eliminate a witness.

But what if it was the other way ’round?

Maybe Hemraj has enemies who wanted to eliminate him. Maybe he owed someone a huge amount of cash. So Mr. and Mrs. Talwar were fast asleep after taking pills. And Aarushi was the one who heard the commotion on the terrace. Maybe she peeked, or maybe she didn’t, but someone thought she did. And it didn’t take too long to cosh her one and prop her back on her bed. Mrs. Talwar says she saw some bag-like thing on her head when she found her body… was that to ensure the blood didn’t run rivulets and prompt an early discovery?

Now when someone whose only exposure to murder is through detective novels meant for youngsters which need not really come anywhere close to reality, is able to come to this possibility pretty easily, why haven’t these buggers who smell the sweat of criminals for twenty years or more (phrase lifted from English, August) able to atleast pursue that line?

Or is it a trump card and they are holding Mr. Talwar at an undisclosed location solely because they want to settle scores with a dentist… “This is gonna hurt just a little bit” style?

PS: As I wrote this and thought of a title, I thought of this detective hero(ine) of a series of novels who’ll just solve mysteries by looking up news stories and googling out various things, sending innocent mails to suspects to gather evidence, using timestamps for evidence, using Google calendar for reconstruction of the crime timeline, clustering and classification algorithms to find out if a blog’s author or a new addition on instant messenger is the gender they claim to be, and is not a bot….. should (s)he be called ASearchEngineSpy’d'er? And have a keyboard with eight i’s?

What say about that as a webcomic?

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