PJs


I’m relatively new to the world of making poor jokes, pioneered and perfected by various others, including this guy and this guy, not to forget the Tronix class of ’08. I was recently surprised by the lines I come up with under duress or conditions of extreme boredom, and decided they simply had to be chronicled. I don’t know about the poverty or wealth of these jokes, or whether they can be called jokes or one-liners or puns or what… I leave it for you to decide.

Most of these aren’t COMPLETELY original… it’s better I say this now instead of after receiving a “Hey! I used that phrase first, though in a different sense! Plagiarism!” sort of comment.

And another caveat: Most of these might seem like ‘inside jokes’, so kindly adjust.

Now what would Julius Caesar’s last words be if he was a DASAlingo-spouting Roman? “Backstabber!!!”

This one’s about my pj-cracking friend KK (of ‘man+duck=frog’ fame), who started off a Purdude, but who’s now at Carnegie Mellon – When KK joined NITK, he was plump as a pumpkin, but four years of mess food made him a Mellon. Lekin woh itna pilata hai, he should be a watermellon.

Then there’s my XXL-sized pal, who had been christened ‘The Big Show’. Now that led to an infinite amount of puns on the ‘big’ aspect – including the one about his large circle of friends forming The BigAdda, … but I won’t put those up here… there are simply too many jokes cracked at his expanse. No, the last word there wasn’t a typo.

Tuna is not far behind… “What do you call a Tam girl in a university in Philadelphia?”, she asks. I didn’t even guess the answer would be as simple as “U Penn!”.

I built up on that, and said if this lady became the Dean there, she would be the ThalaIVY.

<update>As a corollary, a man studying in northern Belgium should be called UGent. </update>

At NITK, the awesome cake shop Crumbz opened during the end-sems, which meant that the place was desserted.

The latest has been a few aimed at spoiling my friend Arun’s good name (Good name as in “What’s your good name?”)… so what would he be called if he was a Kannada action star? Not rocking star or banging star (he’s very Bangalorean) like a few people guessed, but quite simply, Arunald Shivajinagar.

TheG then came up with “What would Arunald be called at age 70?”. Quite easily, it’s Arun-old.

Now this guy hates chemistry, so if he discovered a new alcohol, he would not go through the trouble of giving it an IUPAC name; he’d just call it Arun-ol.

And like his American namesake, if he entered politics after a film career, on a Congress ticket, he would probably change his name to Arunald Indira-nagar. God, at this point, I was shocked by the sadness of the PJ and decided to quit.

Apparently at IIMB, there’s a group that calls itself Sigma. They are reputed to be the nicest guys on campus, as they ‘deviate from the mean’.

My dietician says I need to live on 3 tbsp of oil a day. I said I need more for glowing skin… but she said it was pointless… anything more would automatically go to waist.

Recently, I discovered that the size of an empty struct{} in C was 0, but the same thing in C++ was 1. Guess that’s because it’s C++;

Hmm…. that’s all I remember now.. anyone remember any other ones I might have thought was good and irritated you with?

About wanderlust

just your average books-and-music person who wants to change the world.
This entry was posted in Attempts at Humour, Life at NITK, NITK Nostalgia, Poor Joke. Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to PJs

  1. Logik says:

    I remember the phrase “Hindi – Capped”. In fact I use it often to avoid future conversational embarassments.

  2. AnSVad says:

    Whoa!!! That made me hit my head quite a few times! 🙂 “good” collection there. 😛

  3. Nirav says:

    🙂

    How did you know about Sigma? I never heard of that one

  4. Tuna Fish says:

    Someone: I smell something burning…
    Me: Bulb!

    (btw that was “How do you call (verb) a Tam gal in Philadelphia” 😛 )

  5. wanderlust says:

    @ansvad:
    now there’s a compliment.
    @nirav:
    some of my batchmates are at iimb now… i don’t know what exactly sigma is supposed to be, though. just heard this PJ from the folks there and put it here.
    @tuna:
    i wanted to put your medical-attention-on-the-farm one, but phrasing it always seemed like the version i told you of.
    and correction noted.

  6. Tuna Fish says:

    @ wanderlust
    Havent been able to make it better, albeit the number of tries… Guess its the spur-of-the-moment thing.

    @ Who Ever Is Reading This
    Heres the joke…

    “Whenever ducks fall ill, they never recover quickly. Why? Because all duck docs are Quacks!!”

    I tried bringing Old McDonald into picture, but to no avail…
    Improvisations are welcome!!!

  7. Logik says:

    @Tuna – Slightly related to your comment, but not to the post.

    Bugs Bunny ( while chewing a carrot) to Daffy – ” What’s up Duck? “

  8. dushy says:

    I simply enjoyed every bit of it.

    Great going Priya! 🙂

  9. Nirav says:

    Sigma is the tech club there.. and when I was there, never heard of this joke!

  10. wanderlust says:

    @all:
    a slightly modified version of Tuna’s joke I found in Reader’s Digest:
    So this farmer falls ill, and so a doctor is called to the farm. He comes once, but steadfastly refuses to come again. When asked why, he says, “It’s your ducks. they insult me!”

    @logik:
    was that original? if so, godawesome!

    @dushy:
    great to hear that 🙂

    @nirav:
    uh-huh. guess it’s a new joke, then 🙂

  11. Tuna Fish says:

    @ Logik
    Quack!! Quack!!!

  12. Just randomly rambled in here. Nice to find a link to my site 🙂 n yeah we all call (what we think are our) great puns PJs to sound modest don’t we? 😉

  13. Just randomly rambled in here. Nice to find a link to my site 🙂 n yeah we all call (what we think are our) great puns PJs to sound modest don’t we? 😉

    (Grrr! was logged in to WP when i posted the prev comment, would be grateful if you could delete that one. The actual link is in this comment.)

  14. wanderlust says:

    @tony:
    there is actually a difference between a great joke and a PJ. that, however, is left to the audience to decide.

  15. Logik says:

    @priya- Nopes, not original. Bugs actually said it once. Yes.Its one of the best bugs related wordplay ever.

  16. Speaking of Bugs, I remember one in which Elmer goes mad as there are like a million Bugs bunnies all around and he shouts something like “How can there be so many of you?” Bugs holds up a calculator and says “I’m multiplying”

    LOL I miss the good ol cartoon network! sigh

  17. wanderlust says:

    @tony:
    yeah, i remember that episode 🙂
    you can catch the ol’ toons on Boomerang on Pogo, or on the Looney Tunes show.

  18. wanderlust says:

    new one:
    why is michael schumacher a very helpful guy?
    ans: coz he’s good at F1.
    (if you didnt get that, try pressing f1 on your system).

  19. Akshay.N.R says:

    @Logik:
    Man how can u forget all those things that Akella ended up saying?
    1) SAC at NITK should be renamed as SACK standing for Students Activity Centre, Karnataka!!!!
    2) And as an inside joke, Logik would understand this BAD BOUNCER joke-the one that Akella cracked during the cricket match reminiscent of the Kodachadari Trek!
    ANd this is my own:
    1) What do you call the horse from that Toby Maguire movie SEA BISCUIT after it broke its leg in the movie?
    A: LIMP BIZKIT!

    And I strongly recommend all to watch this particular show on AXN called Video Zonkers. It is your usual things-going-wrong show but with some excellent back up commentary!

  20. Logik says:

    @N.R – The author of this blog, as you’d remember, has been known to be very forgetful.[ A previous post testifies that fact ]
    She had asked for her miscreations. Akella’s jokes are not classified in a segment so superior as PJ’s.. They are a whole new thing altogether.

    Zonkers is quite Ok.. I prefer Takeshi’s castle. Commentary on stupid stuff can’t get better than that.

  21. wanderlust says:

    new one:
    when gautham shenoy googles for himself, is it ego-surfing or Ego Browsing?

  22. wanderlust says:

    And he says it’s ego-searching 😀

  23. wanderlust says:

    i was very inspired by Kalam’s speeches about our space programs, so I thought i’d advance-book my ticket to the moon. But at ISRO, they said “sorry madam, but the moon’s full”

    Logik asked me why I bothered to do that, considering all Tams are Moonz 😉

    I said Tams are planets more than moons, as our lives revolve around superstars and Sun TV 🙂 and many satellite TV businesses revolve around us 😀

  24. An original PJ follows 🙂

    Q: Tiger Woods has to make a put but his caddie, Mr. Ramaswamy Iyer drops all his golf clubs in the lake – he doesn’t have any golf clubs with him but he still makes the put. How?

    Ans: He uses his caddie for the put, he is a ‘pattar’

  25. wanderlust says:

    think it is spelled ‘putt’.

  26. Swati says:

    theres another one “Maths vodu munde barthiya…hindi vodiddarae hinde hogutteya” !!

  27. sindhu says:

    Too much lols in here. good stuff, i tumblogged the link.

  28. Hey..nice blog…. me first timer
    got one : Wat would you call GBShaw’s autobiography if he was homosexual?
    The memoirs of a Gay Shaw 🙂
    There is this one from college .. by a friend of mine about a bar..
    Why is Akash Bar called so ??
    cuz its on the ground .. and hence on akash complement..(akash bar)

  29. Tuna Fish says:

    @manish krishnan
    Because, its down-to-earth, which is a quality of people who stand tall!!

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