I used to admire people who seemed to have a concrete goal in life. But then, I now realize the futility of specific goals in the longterm.
I take decisions only after thorough deliberation, hell lot of thought. And then promptly forget the reasoning that went into any decision. And when the going gets not-so-good, I wonder over and over again just WHY I took a specific decision, and doubt my sanity, my sensibility, my existence…and wonder if I should switch gears or what.
In the past, I have been too lazy to switch gears, and that has served me well; my initial reasoning was good, it turned out. Now however, I am at a crossroad or so it seems… and I’m not that lazy, and I even think I ‘know better’ now.
Time, if utilized well, can change the game… but there’s really no saying.
The grass is always greener on the other side, and the best perspective seems to be got by sitting on the fence.
Oh, well, I’m probably just plain lazy that I want the easier way out. I never sink a well until my hair’s on fire.
I’m sure the day will come when I’ll look at this post and laugh. I sure hope it comes soon enough.