And once again my head is full of stuff I just cannot write about here. For various reasons – personal, professional, tooBoring. Usually, I deal with it by distracting myself by writing a whole bunch of unrelated minutiae about things happening with me that simply don’t matter, and call it Minestrone Soup. This time, though, I think I’ll just face up to the fact that some things need patience while other things need action and since I know which is which now, I should just get on with things. And spare the rest of the world those long rambling posts after writing which I still feel like I’ve left a lot unsaid.
I guess one of the reasons I’m so meticulously censoring myself online is because I’ve seen how anything put online can be used to distress the one who said it. A little of it has been maddening personal experience. And a lot of it is probably paranoia, but at its root lies real-life tales.
I’m yet again about to step into the ‘state of flux’ I was a couple of years ago. Expect more posts where I’m grunting and griping and not exactly saying why I’m whiny. And possibly indulging in obsessive, compulsive behaviour.
And, I’ll repeat this for the zillionth time… I hate uncertainty. Ambiguity, I can deal with, but uncertainty just drives me crazy. And don’t even get me started on monotony.
I’ve typed out and erased two dozen sentences here. I doubt there’s any point in trying to write this post anymore, so I’ll just wind up. And maybe stand on one leg and meditate.
In the midst of all this, I’m extremely glad for family. They are the ones who keep me rooted, grounded, and all that.
In another life, I’d’ve tried to get my mojo back by signing off with some nice video or funny link or whatever, but right now I feel they’ll just distract me from facing my demons. So um, I’ll leave you whining and griping. I’m not having fun being all antsy, why should anyone else?