Thanks to a dog running off with my favorite pair of shoes, and my sister’s, and my cousin’s, we found ourselves shopping for shoes. Recipe for instant hell.
I have exceptionally tiny feet. My cousin has exceptionally large feet. And my sister is extremely choosy.
Three long whiny hours. Walking around hunting for more and more footwear stores. Exhausting all the shop assistants. Feeling thrice the frustration we would if we were doing this alone. If it’s not the colour, it’s the comfort. And when both are fine, you never, ever, ever find it in your size, goddammit. I swear, if I hear the phrase “Sorry madam, we don’t manufacture in this size” one more time, I’ll say “I protest!”, and hurl a shoe. Or maybe I won’t…. coz shoes my size are rare as a Rafflesia (ooh, new simile which is even an alliteration!). When the last of us found a pair for which we screamed out “Oh, it fits! It fits!”, we were ten times happier than the Prince when he found Cinderella’s foot fit the glass slipper and yelled out the same words.
Oh, bloody hell, if Cinderella had as tiny and beautiful feet as the stories say, the only way she’d be able to get nice shoes was if she had a Fairy Godmother.
Talking of which, I wish I had a fairy godmother who’d give me shoes that fit.
And…. I still seem to like dogs better than cats. Surprising, given that I’ve been bitten by one, been chased by a family of six dogs, had one run off with my shoes, almost been attacked by one while attempting to photograph it… and had one stink my room up when it ran in to take shelter from the firecracker-rich Diwali atmosphere outside…. who knows, maybe I’ll be more popular than Cinderella sometime later.
In a reader
The NITK Numbskulls Page 
It is interesting to see you say “as rare as a Rafflesia” in reference to your shoe size. Rare as they are, Rafflesias are supposedly some of the biggest flowers. And your feet are “exceptionally tiny”. đ
You write very well. Hope you don’t mind reading comments from a stranger! đ
@srikanth:
i wanted to put in ‘shoes my size weren’t as common as a shoeflower’, but ‘rare as a rafflesia’ sounds way cooler, no?
i guess it’s the same sort of thing as when someone says ‘cold as hell’ đ
and… i don’t mind the ‘stranger’ bit.
*Echo your sentiments*
I hate shopping too!
Only three hours? Experience tells me, it takes more than 5 to 6 hours of rigorous searching in 2 or 3 installments to find a few good stuff đ
[Churchill: “I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”]
What’s the connection to Aurobindo Ghosh? đ
@sg:
i like window shopping. when it comes to actual shopping, you need to make choices. and that is so damn stressful!
@tuna:
parkinson’s law. work expands to fit the time given for its completion.
@shreevatsa:
i wanted to put in ‘more popular than jesus’, but felt it would attract a lot of bible-belt backlash (ooh! another alliteration!) and thought i’d change it to Aurobindo Ghosh…. and tagged it Aurobindo Ghosh… and then i realized cinderella would be wayy better.
i like shoes. i hate shopping. and shoe shopping comes right down the bottom of the list
Step 1 : Go to shoe shop and tell shoe size.
Step 2 : Check 2-3 shoes till you or the salesman gets annoyed.
Step 3 : Buy the best out of those 3.
Man, guys have it simple.[ Step 2’s 2nd part doesn’t happen for girls]
@cynic:
window shopping?
@logik:
problems with step 1: different types of shoes fit differently for the same shoe size. sad but true.
problems with step 2: none, except that it’s time-consuming. sales(wo)men have too much patience these days.
problems with step 3: define ‘best’.
the reason guys have it simple is that you don’t have so many choices. as i’ve said before, people with the least number of choices are the happiest.